Here we go again!!

The Hamm household is growing!!  In July 2013 our lives will change again!  We are beyond excited and can't wait for this chapter in our lives!  I am so thankful the Lord has blessed us with another child and a sibling for Bennett.   

This excitement we are feeling right now was preceded by a lot of sadness and disappointment.  We had been trying to concieve for over a year before we got pregnant again.  Infertility was something very close to my heart, as we delt with it the first time trying for Bennett.  It's something that is indescriable and not necessarily understanded by everyone.  I'm going to be honest, the past year was extremely hard.  I didn't really know what God wanted for our family.  I knew I so desparetely longed to be pregnant again.  I knew I wanted another child.  I knew I wanted Bennett to have a brother or sister, to have someone to grow up with and enjoy things in life with.  And I knew Jason wanted those things as well.  I just didn't know if that was in store for us.  Month after month we were met with more disappointment, more bitterness, more sadness.  Sitting on the sidelines watching other families grow with excitement while I was kinda at a standstill was very tough.  I personalized a lot of things- thinking it was my fault we couldn't get pregnant or that I didn't deserve to be pregnant again.  In hindsight, I know I that wasn't the case, but when you're in the midst of infertility, your mind thinks of some crazy things.  I now know, this baby was perfectly planned, at just the right time!! But I urge everyone to be a little more aware that some people might be going through a hard time with something like this.  Little things you say with no harm intended, cuts deep with someone struggling with infertility.  Even just the simple phrase- don't you think it's about time you have another one- hurts.  Yes we do think it's time but sometimes it's just not that easy.  And I've come to the conclusion that people struggling with this don't make it known to the world, we keep it private, because it's almost like we are being punished.  It's a strange thing, and I just encourage everyone to maybe think about this before saying things.  It's hard and when you're going through it, it's even harder!!  I've battled infertility (and won!!) twice now- it's an emotional roller coaster and affects every single aspect of your life- your mental health, your relationship with your spouse, and even the relationship with other children you may have.  Please be cautious with your words!

There is one positive outlook on my infertility- my children will know they were wanted more than anything in this world and that their mother and father did all they could to get them here.  And you know, if we have to work hard again for another child, I'll do it, because the outcome is wonderful!!

I've been feeling ok- nauseated quite a bit and last week was sick with what I thought was just a cold, but now know it was probably the flu, since Bennett tested positive for it Friday.  Everyone is on the mend and I'm ready to start feeling better, having a better appetite, and not feeling so tired!  I'm showing quite a bit, but know that you tend to show a lot earlier with the second one.  I can still fit into my jeans but they are becomming uncomfortable fast.  Wearing maternity tops feels better than regular shirts.  Our 8 week appointment went well, everything seems to be starting off on a good foot!  I pray they continue to go that way and I know July will be here before I know it!!

Bennett is doing well, considering he's been sick- first with an ear infection and then the flu a week later.  He's a trooper though and is getting better.  Seems like we always get sick around Christmastime, but we enjoyed spending time with family and watching Bennett get excited over his presents.  Again, he got a ton of new toys this year.  I would have to say, his potato heads are probably his favorite. He's obsessed with those things.  His speech is starting to change- he's actually saying complete sentences.  I can't believe he's going to be 3 in April!!!  Just blows my mind everytime I think about how much he is growing up, right before my eyes.  He's such a handsome little thing and is good about listening when we ask him to do something.  We are still working on sharing, but I know in time he'll get the hang of that.  :)  I just love him to pieces and we are so proud to have him as our son!  I can't wait to give that much love to another child!!