This post is for those mommies who are on the fence about quitting their job to stay home. And remember, this is coming from a mommy who has experienced both sides- the working mom and stay at home mom, so it's not one sided. The best piece of advice I can give to you is this: DO IT!! And I am by no means bashing or putting down those moms who decide to work, I worked for 3 years after Bennett was born, I understand. And believe me, I never in a million years thought I would be a stay at home mom. I thought you had to marry a billionaire to be able to do it. But in all honesty, you don't. All you need is the will and determination to make it work. You can do it!!!
Now, it has taken me a complete year to finally feel like I made the right decision. Don't get me wrong, when I quit a year ago I was so excited and I really did enjoy the time I spent with Bennett. I'm so thankful I had a few months with just him. But I didn't quite understand that it was the best thing I could have done. I didn't know the impact I would have on my two children. And then Leah was born, and my hormones were all wacky and I was extremely sleep deprived and I went through a period asking myself why I chose to do this, it was so tough and I felt like I didn't have a grasp on things. I felt like I was, in some way, letting my kids down because I didn't feel like a good enough stay at home mom. But 7 months have passed, things have settled in, and I can honestly say I feel like a completely different person than I did a year ago. I feel like I have grown leaps and bounds as a mother. I'm happy with my growth and look forward to even more changes and more growth.
Being at home has changed my perspective on a lot of things. I now see the importance of sacrificing my life to give my kids a better life. And I'm completely, 100% ok with that. I'm ok with spending countless hours with an almost 4 year old and a 7 month old. I'm ok with not getting that much adult time. I'm ok with being home more than being away. Because I know this is not permanent. This is only temporary because one day my children will be grown and doing their own thing. I will get those things back. Jason and I will get more and more time together. It's ok now- they need me here! And honestly, I don't miss the money. Looking back I'm not even sure what we did with that extra paycheck. Sure we probably bought more things or ate out more, but those things aren't missed.
I like to think I am making a difference in my kids' lives. Creating memories with them they will treasure. Instilling life lessons they will want to pass down to their children. Teaching them about my faith in Jesus Christ and how I make it on a day to day basis so they will learn to lean on Him during their hard times. Without Him I would not be where I am today and that is a fact! I think society is so fast paced now and a lot is missed or pushed to the side. I'm so fortunate to be able to just slow down a little and enjoy my children every single day- from building Legos with Bennett, watching him build a train track over and over, seeing which car won the race down his slide, seeing Leah's face light up when I walk in the room after she wakes from a nap, having her reach over for me to pick her up, seeing Bennett smile when I make him Mickey Mouse pancakes or a smiley face out of his food, hide and seek outside, racing to the stop sign and back, chasing our shadows on a beautiful sunny day. The list goes on and on. It truly is a blessing and I wish more mothers would give it a try.
Now, it will be the single, most exhausting thing you could ever do. And remember, I was at one time a working mother. I worked a job that required me to be on my feet for most of the day, it was fast paced and I stayed busy. But staying at home with 2 children, will be emotionally and mentally draining, and to me, that is way more exhausting than physically being tired. There will be some days where you want to pull all of your hair out. There will be some days your kids are cranky all.day.long. There will be some days you just can't get it together. There will be some days where your son wants daddy instead of you. There will be some days your baby doesn't want to nap and it takes everything to get her to sleep and stay asleep. There will be some days where you feel like you haven't divided your time equally among your children. There will be some days where you think your son has too much TV time. But that's ok. Because in those days, you are growing and changing. You may not see it while you are at your wit's end, but I promise you, those are the days that really matter. I have learned that making silly faces can change your child's mood around really fast. Or tickling their little tummy will help them feel better. I'm not perfect by any means. I screw up, a lot. I lose my patience easily some days. When that happens, I have to pick myself up, recognize that I screwed up and just move forward- learning from it and telling myself how I should handle it next time.
But, there are a few things that you need to know and understand beforehand. 1) You do not leave work. There are no weekends or nights. You are at work 24/7. Date nights and girl's night out can be a life saver. 2) You do not get vacation or sick days. Period. 3) You will not get affirmation that you are doing a good job, i.e. raises, staff luncheons, staff appreciation days, etc. Over time you will learn to recognize in yourself that you are awesome at what you do at home. 4) There will be monotony to your days. Holidays or vacation days your husband gets will help with this. Getting your children involved in something also helps. For me, putting Bennett in preschool was a wonderful thing. It breaks up the days and keeps him interacting with some friends. 5) You will do more praying than you have ever done before! But that's a good thing! :)
Now, I'm not saying a working mom has it easy either. Being a mother is hard work, all the time, no matter what your circumstances are. But that doesn't necessarily mean it's a bad thing. Usually the hard things in life lead to a wonderful, priceless treasure!
So, for those moms who just can't make up your mind...don't wait another moth, 6 months, a year- that is time you will never get back. Bite the bullet and enjoy your children now before they are grown and off to school!! Quitting my job is the best thing I have ever done! So, if you ever see me on a bad day- please remind me to read this post!!! :)
